Did you know that there’s ONE question that you can ask your spouse that will improve your marriage almost instantly?
You can use it right now to start turning your marriage around right now.
In fact, if you ask this question every single day to your spouse, don’t be surprised if things change so dramatically that your spouse breaks down and recommits to you and your marriage.
So just what is this magical question?
The One Question That Will Save Your Marriage
The question is…
“How can I improve your day?”
Pretty simple, right? So how can this really be the one question that will save your marriage?
Let me tell you a quick story about two clients of mine… Brian and Cindy. Every single day, they would argue about almost everything.
It was almost as if they would pick fights for the sake of picking fights!
And these arguments were no joke either… they would oftentimes scream and yell at the top of their lungs, oftentimes even in front of their two kids.
Based on my initial meeting with them, I knew exactly what was wrong… and the problem that they experienced is an issue that’s extremely common — and that is, they didn’t see each other as their “teammate”.
In successful marriages, couples act as if they’re two players on the exact same team.
They pinch hit for each other when the other can’t step up to bat, they’ll pass the ball to each other while moving up the court.
That’s why asking the one question that will save your marriage is so important.
In a successful marriage, you function better together than you do separately.
So whether you’re talking about something as simple as sharing the house chores, planning a trip, navigating their finances, or raising children, successful and happy couples make sure that they support one another no matter what.
But Brian and Cindy didn’t have this mindset at all. How could I tell that this was the case?
Well, in my initial meeting with them, I heard them use the word “I” and “you” 92% more than they used the word “we”.
It was always… “I am doing so much work for you around the house” or “I can’t stand it when you won’t stick up for me!”
Brian and Cindy were framing every single dispute as if they were always the victim.
No matter hard they tried, they couldn’t get their partner to see them in the way that they wanted to be seen.
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Brian and Cindy aren’t unique. Again, I’ve seen this situation arise in couples all the damn time… and I know EXACTLY how to deal with it.
One of the very first things that I got them to was to begin with one of the most important strategies when it came to fixing a marriage…
In marriage you need to sacrifice yourself for the greater good.
I told them about that one question that will save your marriage.
I forced them, every single day, to start off the day with “How can I improve your day?”
When they first started using this strategy, they admitted to me that it felt awkward for them.
They didn’t FEEL like that the other person DESERVED any acts of service. In fact, initially, they felt like their partner deserved admonishment instead of any acts of love.
But after a week of doing this every single day, things began to change…
Suddenly, Brian began felt feeling more relaxed every morning.
He would wake up beside Cindy and instead of thinking about all the negative thoughts that he once had, he began to only think about improving Cindy’s day.
He thought about it as a job that he had to do… or a duty almost!
This is all due to asking the one question that will save your marriage.
The same thing happened to Cindy. She told me that after a few days, a great deal of pain, anger, and resentment began to lift from her chest and she slowly began to feel eager to improve her husband’s day.
This kind of attitude makes marriage improve your life rather than dragging you down.
Moving forward is a process
Over time, the arguments became less intense. They became less frequent… and their children began to notice and even they began to show levels of happiness that Brian and Cindy haven’t seen in ages.
They effectively created a more loving environment that perpetuated itself… and it all began with a simple question: “How can I improve your day?”
RELATED: 9 WAYS TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO RECOMMIT TO MARRIAGE
That’s why this the one question that will save your marriage. Because it makes your spouse feel seen and appreciated.
But this question alone obviously won’t solve all the issues in your marriage.
No, the whole point of this exercise is to reframe how you think about your spouse.
You need to begin thinking that your spouse is your teammate and whatever problems come your way, you need to fight tooth and nail to work through those problems together, instead of looking for reasons for further conflict… This can only lead to divorce.
How to reframe your marriage
One of the biggest problems Brian and Cindy had was how they used their language.
They used the words “You” and “I” way too much.
In order to reframe the mindset of your marriage, start using the word “We” with your spouse. Doing so can have a massive impact on how your spouse perceives you. For example… take a really common complaint…
“You always leave the house a total mess. You’re lazy and never clean up after yourself! Disgusting!”
Pretty awful thing to hear, right? Now let’s change up the language just slightly. Say something like…
“We can do a better job of cleaning up the place. I think we would both appreciate that! And I’ll make sure to do my part.”
See how much better that sounds? By changing your language just a little bit, you can start the process of making your spouse view you as their TEAMMATE instead of their enemy.
Once you start making this habit, don’t be surprised if everything begins to change rapidly. That’s why this is the one question that can save your marriage.
The power of positive feedback
It’s one of those solutions that gets better and better over time. It creates a positive feedback loop. And the MORE you support and cooperate with your spouse, the more he or she will want to return the favour.
Don’t believe me? Give it a shot. I promise this is the one question that will save your marriage.
What happened to Brian and Cindy?
Were they able to continue their success?
Well, after a couple more months of regular correspondence with me, I can happily say that YES… they are still together and they are very much in love.
If you want your marriage to go down the same path as Brian and Cindy’s, consider signing up for my email coaching service.
