Wondering how to get your ex back?
Tried everything?
Sick of the cold shoulder?
Here are the three types of texts you NEED to send your ex if you want to rebuild attraction and get them back.
Use These Texts To Re-Attract Your Ex
So what is your next move? The first step is always No Contact.
Always Start With No Contact
First of all, none of the 3 texts I’m about to share with you should be used on your ex before you’ve successfully completed a period of No Contact.
If you’ve been begging, pleading, and apologizing to your ex recently, then sending these text messages might have a negative impact on your chances of getting back together with him.
In order for the texts to be effective, it’s important that you ex is in what I call an “emotional neutral” state and going No Contact is the best method to make that happen.
If you’re not sure where you currently stand with your ex and whether you can safely start using these 3 texts, I recommend you first take my free quiz.
It’s also important to remember that these text messages aren’t designed to be used all at once… you really don’t want to force things or come across as needy or desperate by spamming your ex repeatedly.
Don’t suddenly start texting your ex multiple times per day, because that’s going to backfire on you even if you have properly set the stage by employing No Contact. Play it cool, don’t force any conversations, and always leave plenty of time between your texts.
If your texts do get a reply from your ex and turn into a back-and-forth conversation, keep things upbeat, fun, and lighthearted… absolutely no drama or serious relationship talk.
Don’t reply too quickly to their messages, either — you want to appear busy and make it seem like you’re not overly invested in the conversation.
It’s also wise to be the one to end the conversation, rather than allowing your ex to have the last word so politely shut down any conversations first before your ex gets the chance to do so.
Now let’s dive into the first text message, shall we?
Text #1: The “Mystery Question” Text
The Mystery Question text message is one of my absolute favorites, for two reasons: first, it’s pretty hard to screw this one up, so generally speaking it’s safe to use and has a very low chance of backfiring on you. Secondly, it’s very effective in making your ex curious and possibly a bit jealous, too.
The Mystery Question text is pretty simple, because all it involves is asking your ex a seemingly legitimate question that they’re likely going to know the answer to, while simultaneously referencing a mysterious unknown friend. For example, you could say….
“Hey, do you remember the name of that Middle Eastern restaurant we went to for your staff party last year? A friend from out of town is visiting this weekend and I really want to take her there!”
See what I mean? You’re asking a legitimate, reasonable question — what’s the name of that restaurant? — while also subtly hinting that you’re taking a mysterious new friend there. That’s going to generate a reply, and likely get your ex wondering who this “out of town friend” is.
This works because one of the obstacles to getting your ex back is how to reach out without looking clingy. This solves both problems by allowing you to reconnect with your ex and make them jealous at the same time.
Another example might be something like,
“Hey! I’m helping a friend decorate his new apartment this weekend… can you recommend your favorite furniture store in town?”
Again, it’s simple and innocuous sounding, right? All you need to do in order to use this text message to your advantage is think up a good, legitimate question to ask your ex. That’s why it’s one of the easiest and most effective messages you can send.
Text #2: The Picture Text
This is another favorite text that I recommend to my coaching clients all the time. No, I’m not suggesting you send your ex a dick pic, ok?? All this message requires is for you to look through the photo album on your phone, and then send your ex a picture of a place where you shared an intimate moment together.
It could be the view from your hotel room in Italy, the beach front cabin you stayed at on a holiday last summer, or even a romantic dinner you shared at a fancy restaurant. Send them the picture and say something like…
“Remember this place? I only have amazing memories here.”
“Desperately wishing I was back here right now! That trip was so much fun.”
The key here is to make it subtle and believable… don’t go overboard or try to force it with this text, just be natural and make it seem like you just happened to stumble across the photo randomly.
This text works really well because just seeing the photo will remind your ex of a happy memory you shared together, and that is usually a very powerful way to make your ex reminisce and begin missing you. It can also help them feel some nostalgia and replace their negative memories of your time together with positive, intimate ones.
You can only use this text once, because it’ll seem weird if you try to do this too often, but it can be extremely effective when used correctly.
And finally…
Text #3: The Inside Joke Text
This text is one t hat my clients tend to have the most success with, so I wanted to include it here.
It’s actually pretty much impossible for me to come up with a good example of this text, because it involves referencing an inside joke that only you and your ex will really understand. You need to think of some kind of joke or innuendo that your ex will understand and appreciate — ideally, you want to make them laugh or at least smile to themselves when they read your message.
Let’s say, just as a rough example of what I mean by this, that you and your ex often used to visit the same restaurant together… and that there was always this one very cranky waitress who never, ever cracked a smile. You could text your ex something like,
“OMG, I just saw Cranky Waitress on the subway! And she was SMILING! No joke! I tried to grab a pic but it would’ve been too creepy.”
This is definitely a great message that can get your ex thinking about you and feeling nostalgic about the fun times you shared together.
